discord
is not a dev
A documented collection of evidence, gathered over time.
exhibit a
⚙️ “Works on my machine”
Deploys successfully only on localhost. Breaks in staging, production, and his teammate's environment.
exhibit b
📦 Dependency addiction
npm install is the answer to every problem. Even fixed a typo by installing a package.
exhibit c
🔥 Push & pray
Commits directly to main with “final_final_v3”. Tests? Never heard of 'em.
exhibit d
🤖 AI-generated code
Uses ChatGPT for everything. The irony is palpable.
“I don't need tests, I have confidence — and 47 open tabs of Stack Overflow.”
— discord, circa 2026
case completeness
68%
Still building the case — new evidence gets added as it surfaces. Stay tuned.